When all is failing, be optimistic!

August 24, 2010

Quote of the Week

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
–Helen Keller

 So, here is the million dollar question: How can you feel optimistic when you just lost 2 escrows and the one remaining is a short sale you’ve been nursing for 8 months? How can you feel confident when nothing seems to be working for you? (I know that was two questions) 

The answer is simple. Your level of optimism cannot be contingent upon how well “things are going.” Self-confidence cannot be contingent on whether you are currently successful. Huh? Yes, that is what I meant to say. Allowing your feelings to be contingent on past and present results is my definition of VICTIMHOOD. 

You have no control over your feelings when you allow them to be shaped by past or current results. They become like corks bouncing on the waves, controlled by the winds and the currents.  Is this how you want to live? Of course not. 

So, how do you break the relationship between what you see and what you believe? The same way you master anything—the same way you get to Carnegie Hall—practice, practice, practice. Detach your feelings from current events. Focus on your vision of the future. Visualize yourself as a happy, healthy, successful person and allow that image to mold your feelings. Yes you will feel better, but more than that—your positive, optimistic attitude will attract people into your life who can help you to succeed.

When you radiate self-confidence, others feel confident in your abilities.


Bathroom Mirror Quote

June 16, 2010

“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.”
Doug Firebaugh
 

This is one that should be on everyone’s bathroom mirror – a reminder each morning to be true to who you are and who you are becoming. Why waste even one more day on the past. I mean, you were there, right? You did what you chose to do and life unfolded. Try as you might there is not a single thing you can do about it. (Well, unless you have a working time machine, in which case, call me.) 

Think about it. A life focused on the present and future is a life free of guilt (because we haven’t done anything yet to feel guilty about) – it’s a life full of possibilities, an endless feast of fun, fulfillment and prosperity. So, what’s stopping you? Oh, yeah, you haven’t let go of the past yet have you? Or, maybe you have, but you haven’t formed a clear vision of the future? Well, gee, what are you doing this afternoon?

 If you have a couple of hours, here’s what you can do (2 things guaranteed to transform your life.):

 1. Decide to let go of the past. Make a covenant with yourself that every time your mind tries to relive and redo past “mistakes,” say CANCEL! Bring your mind back to the present and focus on what you can do NOW to live a better life and move closer to your goals.

2. Create a clear vision of the life you want. Take a pen and paper and write it down. Sound silly? Why? If you wanted to buy a new car, wouldn’t you think about it all the time, cut out pictures and tape them on your steering wheel, focus on it until you figure out a way to make the purchase. Well, good news, all life is just like that.

You get what you focus on.

Or, as Emerson said:

“You are what you think about all day long.” 

If you get that, you get everything – and I mean everything.


Change your Mind and you Change the World

February 12, 2010

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.”
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV 4.5

 

Would you like to re-live 2009?

If the answer is no, read on.

 

If you were one of millions of people struggling to make ends meet in 2009, you probably spent a great deal of time focusing on your problems and searching for solutions. Worrying about your income, your rising credit card balances, your credit rating or even whether you would be able to retain your home can become habitual. This can be a problem. 

Because “You are what you think about all day long,” (Emerson) there is a danger that, if you continue to think about past problems, they will become the building blocks of your future. It can be a difficult transition, I know, but… to create success in 2010 you must become successful now… today. Let me say that another way…

 You can’t wait for something good to happen

and then feel good about yourself.

You must feel good about yourself

and then make good things happen.

 Well, you don’t have to. But, either you control your life or life controls you. A matter of choice. Skeptics never see how they can feel good when everything around them is swirling down the drain. I know two very effective methods:

 1. NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) teaches us to “anchor” our feelings to a moment in the past when we felt great about life, about ourselves. Imagine your self back at that moment, recreate the positive feelings and then carry those emotions into the present.

The method I use most often is to imagine my own positive future. This has to be approached in two directions. First, whenever I find myself ruminating about past problems, I stop myself. Second, I focus my attention a very specific image of the future that I have created in my mind.

 Either of these techniques can be very effective. The mind is a wonderfully powerful tool. It will give you whatever you desire. The problem is that it thinks you desire those things you choose to think about.

Change your thoughts and you change your world.