Unanticipated Success

September 9, 2010

“Every failure is really just an unanticipated Success.”   SD

 We begin with a vision of what we wish to accomplish. Then we visualize our desired result, plan, decide upon a course of action and execute our plan. So far: so good.

Then, after a while, we sit back and examine the results. If they match our initial vision, we label our efforts SUCCESS. If they fall short, we label them with the “F” word – FAILURE. Why do we do that to ourselves? Especially when we have seen over and over again that events we judge as failures almost always turn out to be valuable lessons or building blocks to a greater success.

So, I guess we can chalk it up to bad memory. Why should we care? What’s wrong with judging some of our results as failures and taking steps to rationalize our disappointment?

Well, a couple of things:

1. We don’t like to fail. So, the fear or expectation of failure can keep us from taking risks. And where there’s no risk, there’s no reward.

2. Judging our outcomes as failures tends to bum us out. And bummed out people rarely attract positive relations, new business, good juju into their lives.

Viewing outcomes as failures lowers self-esteem and who needs that? If you can’t feel good about yourself, who can?

In summary, be good to yourself. Love yourself. View all of your outcomes as building blocks, steps along the path you are walking and, therefore, successes.

Judge less

Be kind and compassionate – especially to yourself.


How Hard Can You Get Hit?

August 23, 2008

Quote of the Week

 

“It ain’t about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep movin forward.”  

                       Rocky Balboa

 

From the mouths of fictional punch-drunk fighters…

 

Part of living a happy, stress-free life is choosing your battles wisely. If we were to pick a fight every time life failed to turn out the way we’d planned, we’d all be punch drunk.

 

Choosing your battles means deciding how important it is that another driver fails to let you merge into an exit lane. Once it happens, there is nothing you can do but look for another opening or go to the next exit and double back. You can perform these tasks in an agitated, finger-out-the-window manner, or you can take a deep breath and “keep movin forward.”

 

How you react to life’s little disappointments is determined by “how hard you can get hit.”

1.    How much criticism can you take?

2.    How important is it that you are right?

3.    How important is it that others acknowledge your accomplishments?

4.    How do you feel when others act in ways you don’t agree with?

 

In the end, we have very little control over the actions of others. What we do control is how we react to those actions. How quickly and effectively we “move forward” depends to a great extent on how we react to adversity.

 

Having been in real estate sales since 1976, I have managed agents through several recessions and numerous transitions in the housing market. When the market slows down, many agents have to move through all four stages of grief: Denial, Depression, Anger and Acceptance. By the time they finally achieve acceptance, the bills are piling up and their pipeline is empty.

 

The agents who continue to thrive in the midst of change are those who calmly analyze the situation, make adjustments and keep working.

 

Succinctly stated by Joe Pass (The Guitar Player Book) “When the chord changes, you should change.”